Friday, December 30, 2011

Looking forward to the new year....

This year has been a rough one for me for some reason. Let's see...my mom was diagnosed with cancer, in the hospital as of today for the 3rd time since June.
I finally went back to work after 2 years of looking, only to totally LOATHE the job! My blood pressure has been uncontrolled since summer and my doc has had to add a second med to what I was already taking and a couple of weeks ago she increased one of the meds because my BP still won't go down.
I failed my first class this summer after making only A's and B's for the last 2 years. I was prescribed Xanax (need I say more). I could go on but I won't.
Through it all, I have to be thankful because I'm still alive, still above water financially, still the mom of an awesome boy and still have the love of my family!

I am truly looking forward to a new year and hope and pray it is more prosperous than the one that's about to end. Here's to finding love (for those that want to), new careers, financial stability and most of all peace of mind in the year to come!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Random musings

I haven't been doing a very good job of posting lately...shame on me. I'm just enjoying my break from being a student and enjoying my son while he's out. It's nice to have a few less items on our plate for awhile.

My sis was in town last week and it was really nice seeing her. She always spoils my son when she's around (not that he needs more of that). Our niece performed in the Chocolate Nutcracker and the show was long awesome! My sister did something really awesome while she was here. Everyone knows I'm not the type to ask for help, especially if it involves money. This was going to be a lean Christmas and I was talking to my sis about that and told her all I was planning to buy my son was a bike (which is fine by me). She actually gave me the money for the bike and then turned around and paid for the bike herself plus gave me some money just for me,bills, food, whatever! I never would have asked her for that but I SO appreciate her for doing it. She also kept my car full of gas while she was here. I love her!...and not just because she did this very generous thing.

So, my mom ended up back in the hospital a couple of weeks ago and they thought she had an obstruction in her colon where the surgery was performed in June. Thankfully, that wasn't the case! The doc thinks she just picked up a virus and that was the cause of the vomiting and diarrhea.

Finally...Christmas is almost upon us. I just found out this morning that I will at least have the first part of the morning off on Sunday, which is good. Of course, I would rather be off all day (never worked Christmas in my life)but oh well, I'm happy for the morning off. Our family tradition is to meet at my mom's for breakfast and opening gifts.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Drum roll please........

You all may remember my previous posts about my son not being able to ride a bike and being concerned about his grades, well I have excellent news...!

Last week in PE, third through fifth graders started bike riding. The kids that couldn't ride are in a group and the riders are in another group. They started on Wednesday and my son started out on a bike without pedals in order to learn how to push off and balance. He was absent on Thursday (not feeling well) and then on Friday...he became a RIDER...woo hoo! He learned in ONE day and was so excited. I picked him up from school (because I played hookey from work) and he couldn't wait to get home and show me (I need to take a pic and post it).

On to the other good news...Tuesday was report card day and my child brought home 4 B's and a C! It's not the Honor Roll but I am SO proud of him. He worked super hard to pull his grades up and I can actually see that he's learning. He said next time he definitely wants Honor Roll or even Principal's List.

Just had to share the awesomeness that is my son.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

How to teach an 8yr old to ride a bike...

HELP!!! We need your assistance. I didn't push the issue of bike riding and just figured he would have learned to ride by now. I learned at 6 but back then my two sisters and I had one bike and there were no training wheels. I think having older siblings helped me learn early because I wanted to be able to keep up with them so I had some motivation to learn and in the 70's kids actually played outside so pretty much everyone knew how to ride. That's not my son's reality though. There are no older siblings and he doesn't have any neighborhood friends.

I first started trying when my son was 5 or 6 but I would be huffing and sweating to death trying to run next to the bike he always said he was afraid of falling. I tried again taking the training wheels off about a year later and still no luck so I backed off so I just let him ride with the training wheels on.

Now it's crunch time...the 3rd graders will be riding bikes in PE when they go back to school and he does NOT want to do it. He doesn't want his friends and classmates to know he can't ride. He has even asked me to let him skip school...

What do I do??!!!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Three things on Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! I"m posting my 3 things in the spirit of this day. There are way more than 3 things that I could post because I have to constantly remind myself of all the blessings and good things I DO have in my life (which is why I started this series).

My 3 things:

Cell phone--my baby is out of town this week (BOO HOO) and I can't imagine NOT being able to talk to him everyday

Family--although most of them went out of town (and I spent the day alone), I still wouldn't trade them for anything

Being off today--didn't think I would get the day off and that would've been my first time ever working Thanksgiving. Glad it worked out for me

Have a great one all!!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

3 things on Saturday

My new series of posting three things I'm thankful for will be done on Tuesday's from here on out but I was just too busy this past Tuesday so here goes:

1. Having both Saturday AND Sunday off...woo hoo! Haven't had a weekend off in quite some time

2. All bills paid for the month

3. Had a free night last night...little one slept at a friend's

What is everyone else thankful for?

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

3 Things...

Since Thanksgiving is coming up, I thought now would be a great time to introduce something new to the blog. I've been planning to do this for some time now but haven't gotten around to it.

I'm stealing borrowing this idea from a discussion board that I frequent. It's just a way to remind us that there are things in life to be thankful for even when that doesn't appear to be the case. Anywho...here are my 3 things for the week

My son
Life (each new day is a chance for me to get closer to the life I want)
Being healthy (for the most part)

I will be doing this on a weekly basis and I hope others will join in and share three things that you are thankful for.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Random Saturday thoughts in November

I haven't been posting much lately, just too tired after parenting, studying and working. I also haven't done my random thoughts post lately, so here goes..

Why is forgiveness SO hard?! I have posted a couple of times about my journey to forgive but man, it is tough. It doesn't help that the person I'm trying to forgive continues to show his assholeness at random intervals (like just when I think I've made progress).

So, my son got his first detention since starting school and he serves it on Monday. As if, third grade hasn't been enough of a challenge for him, now this. Anyway, I told him not to worry about it and we will work together to make sure he doesn't get anymore.

How do all of you solo parents balance it? I thought I was handling everything pretty well until the last couple years. I just feel overwhelmed on a regular basis lately (might be why my doc put me on Xanax a few months ago). Really, how do you do it?

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Randomness

I have to start by giving props to my son. In my previous post, I mentioned that I was worried about his grades and I have to say he has really impressed me. He has pulled his grades up and although he probably won't make the Honor Roll this grading period, he has been working so hard and I'm VERY proud of him!

And following that awesome news...I still hate my job. Yes, yes I do...still hate it. How sad, but that's that.

Could I be depressed?...the thought just hit me today. I have dealt with depression before and usually I can tell when I'm having an episode but this feels different...I don't know. For instance, I have ZERO desire to do anything other than be a mom, be a student and have sex (which I'm not getting..another story). When I'm home, I'm either doing nothing, playing or talking with my son or figuring out a way to not be home. My home hasn't been truly clean since Feb (when I started the JOB). I've realized that I don't even talk to family much other than my mom. My brother in law (who I was really close to)texted me the other night and asked me where I've been. I haven't seen or spoken to him or my sister since the end of July and they live 5 mins away. I could go on with other reasons why I wonder if it's depression...

My second round of classes for this semester started this week and so far so good. I'm staying on top of things and hope to keep this pace up. I made a B and C (should've been a B..oh well) in my previous 2 classes. I just have not been able to stay on top of my class work since I started working in Feb so I want to stay ahead this term.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Depressed about sons grades...what to do?

My son is a third grader this year and so far it's been a challenge. He's been an A/B honor roll student the past two years and this year is starting out SO different.

This is week 6 (I think) of school and his grades at this point are NOT good at all. He has failed numerous tests in math, social studies and reading. He struggles some with reading and I really think that is the issue because even the math tests are mostly word problems this year (big difference from last years tests).

I don't want him to be discouraged but it's so disheartening everytime I go online to look at his grades and see where he has made a D or F on yet another test. He has asked me to stop telling him what his grade is and let him wait until he gets the paper back himself.

The first conference was Thursday and the teacher thinks he will be ok and has offered to put him in a reading program (he did this program for a little while at the end of 2nd grade). I just asked her what I can do to help him at home and she said the most important thing is to get him reading as much as possible and then discuss what he read.

It's just heartbreaking for me to see this smart boy who has never made less than an A in math, science or social studies, now bringing home F's in math and social studies.

We are a week beyond the half way point in the grading period and I really hope he can pull his grades up. He may not make honor roll but hopefully he will do better than he is now. I really don't want this to break his spirit (he already is not a fan of school).

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Too consumed by parenting? Is that possible?

Over the past 8 years, I've often said "being a mom is my life" or "my son is my world." I thought of those phrases earlier today when I was sitting having lunch with my good friend. We were talking about different things and I said something along the lines of "I've probably allowed being a mom to consume too much of my world."

I just wonder is that possible. I think protecting, providing for and teaching my son is my #1 job in life and everything comes after that but at what cost? I don't date and haven't been in a relationship in 9 years (because I don't want to bring men around my son), I pretty much never get out and do anything that's not kid related and all of my choices well, most are dictated by the thought of how will this affect my son.

One potential downside I see is that my son could become self-centered. I already see a bit of this (could just be the age)now. I think he has gotten so used to having all of my time, that he just expects it. For instance, a couple of Fridays ago, I arranged for him to stay with his dad rare event and he begged me not to make him stay. He even asked me if I was going on a date..LOL!

This parenting thing is tough...

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Happy September!!

So we have made it successfully to the end of the second week of school and things are going pretty well! The 2 scary teachers are not quite so scary anymore maybe the fangs just haven't come out yet and the little one seems to be settling nicely into 3rd grade. The other day, I actually heard him say he's starting to like school. I'm so wondering who kidnapped my child proud of him!

A letter came home today saying that he was chosen to be a student council representative from his class..and he actually wants to do it. Again; still wondering what happened to my real child proud of him.

School is back in full swing for me as well and I've already missed an assignment. The realy question is...who the hell gives that much work during the first week of class? Who does that?! I just need to try and stay ahead and stop blogging and go do tonight's assignment stay focused.

Anywho..happy September all..I'll be around more or not...

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Forgiveness...still working on it

I posted a bit ago about my journey to forgive my ex. I figured it was time after 9 years of being divorced :0

Anywho...on this journey, I've realized something. A lot of my anger and unforgiveness isn't really about my ex; I'm really angry with MYSELF! I've asked myself a million times, "what if I had just listened to my parents or others that had doubts or even that voice in my own head", "what if I hadn't continued sleeping with him even AFTER he served me with divorce papers (and got pregnant--how DUMB was that?!)

I seem to be doing much better in my interactions with the ex but now I'm on a quest to figure out how to forgive me. This seems so much harder than forgiving others. I don't consider myself a perfectionist but I do tend to be hard on myself.

I'm not supposed to make the same bad choices that others make. What makes me better than anyone else?!

I hope soon to work it all out. I know it's a process and I'm willing to go through it. Unforgiveness and anger has definitely held me back and lately has led to me making some very unhealthy choices...something else for me to not forgive myself about...vicious cycle

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Saturday updates

So, I thought I would update on some of my previous posts. I'll start with the good news.

My mom had a PET scan last week Friday and the results came back normal (that means scan found NO cancer!) Also, her second round of blood tests came back normal as well...YAY! My mom was supposed to start chemo this week; needless to say, she's not doing that. I'm so thankful!

I posted about my little one needing to have 3 teeth pulled and that his new tooth was growing in behind the baby tooth. Well, he had 2 teeth pulled a couple of weeks ago and I'm happy to say the new tooth is already moving up nicely into place...YAY!!

Now on to the random stuff...

The rooster/hen or whatever from next door is gone! It seems someone called code enforcement on the neighbors and reported the chickens. I did find out that you can have chickens in the city limits but they have to follow all of these rules in order to keep them. So, the chicks are still there but the noise maker is gone...YAY!!!

I'm back to seriously job searching (yet again). I've been on this job almost 6 months and I've never in life hated anything this much. It's truly a chore to go there and it's turning me into a miserable person, so I have to get out.

Otherwise, I'm just trying to enjoy the days off I have with the boy before we both go back to the books in a month. Hope everyone is doing well

Saturday, July 16, 2011

I HATE cancer...part dos

So mom has been out of the hospital a couple of weeks now and healing very well. She has been in really good spirits until Thursday, when she saw the oncologist :(

She saw the surgeon on Tuesday and had her staples removed. He said she healed very nicely and was good to go. On Thursday she saw the oncologist and he said he's pretty sure all of the cancer was removed during the surgery but 1 lymph node was found with cancer, so he wants her to have 12 rounds of chemo. My mother said from the VERY beginning, she did not want chemo, so that's where we are.

The doctor does want her to have a PET scan just to be sure there isn't cancer anywhere else in her body and we were able to convince her to at least have that done. So now we just wait...again.

I really hate that my 72 year old mother has to go through this, especially after beating cancer 20 plus years ago! I'm trying to stay positive and remember to take care of myself and my son during this whole process.

Positive thoughts and prayers are welcomed

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Random Saturday thoughts (and questions)

Why in the HELL do I have to wake up to chicken crowing when I live in the city?!

Why does it seem I have the only 8 year old that has only lost ONE baby tooth?! Now a new tooth is growing behind a baby one and it has to be pulled. I don't want my child to go through that nor do I really have the money(but it has to be done)

My mom is healing well and is in good spirits (which is great!). She had her first follow up appointment on Tuesday and she see's the surgeon next Tuesday. After that we will start meeting with the Oncologist to see what the treatment plan will be.

Well, my grades posted and I have made my first F since going back to school two years ago. I was sad and disappointed in myself but now I'm over it. I won't make excuses and I take full responsibility for the grade. I have already registered for the class again to take in the Fall. My ex-h used to always say "drop back and punt." That definitely applies in this situation.

It's official....I'm now part of the Xanax club! My doctor wrote me a prescription yesterday. I'm usually pretty averse to taking uneccessary meds but I'm more than willing to take this one. I actually called the doctor last week because I felt anxious, weepy, shaky and just in a horrible mood. I wanted something to take but they took so long to respond that I called and said never mind. Yesterday, the doc said my heart was racing so fast!!!

I really need to find a better way to cope with life besides being angry and anxious....all suggestions welcome...LOL!

Monday, July 4, 2011

Happy 4th of July!!!

Today's post is to salute all of those that help to protect this country and keep it free.

I hope everyone has had a safe, fun and happy holiday today. My son is home...YAY!! That made for the happiest holiday ever for me. He's in one piece and had a great time with his dad and family.

We didn't go see the fireworks this year because son wanted to get our own and set them off at home. We just came inside and I'm sweating like a pig...yuck! Despite that, I'm glad we did fireworks at home this year because it was a lot of fun. There were a couple of other houses down the street also doing fireworks.

Now that that's over, I'm sipping on a glass of wine and about to relax, finally.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Moscato induced random thoughts

Sooo, today's my day off and I've been mostly relaxing with some errands mixed in. The boy left with dad yesterday going out of town for the weekend and I'm home becoming a spinster alone. I miss him but he seems to be having a good time and it's good for him to spend time with his other family because he doesn't see them often.

Went to my mom's house for a little bit while her carpets were cleaned. Then I had to go to the store to get me a bottle of Moscato. I wanted some last night but it was too late and I was tired and didn't feel like stopping at the store.

Anyway, I'm back at home for a bit and giving my hair some much needed TLC! I'll be going to my sister's house this evening to sit with my mom while sister and her husband go out(I really need to get a life).

In the mean time, I'm going to keep sipping on what's in my glass....

Friday, July 1, 2011

Random rainy July 1st thoughts..

As you know, I've had a lot going on in my life.

My mom was finally discharged from the hospital Wednesday evening! We're glad she's home but were a bit unprepared to care for her once she got home. She's staying with my sister for a few days and then I'll probably go stay with mom at her house over the weekend. Good news is that she's healing really well and appears to be in good spirits...YAY MOM!

The little one is on his way out of town this morning with his dad. Not sure how I'm feeling about that. I'm excited because son is excited about going but for some reason those fears and crazy thoughts (and dreams) that I always have started coming up last night as soon as I dropped him off at his dad's house. On one hand, I could use the break with all that has been going on with my mom. On the other hand, I'm annoyed because the ex decided to mention the trip to me yesterday afternoon...ugh! So after getting off at 6, going to spend some time with my mom, getting something to eat and getting home at almost 8, I had to try and do laundry so the boy would have clothes for the trip. It was getting so late and son wanted to spend the night with dad, that I ended up taking the damp clothes to ex's house and letting him dry them. Why can't we be like normal exes and have a schedule? Now the few plans I had with son for the weekend are trashed. I'm taking Monday off but could have worked and gotten that Holiday pay...NOT!

Anyway, hope everyone has a great day and weekend!

Friday, June 24, 2011

I HATE cancer!

I'm going to apologize yet again for being missing in action. I've just been really busy with life, being a mom and school...ugh! I really would love to just have a moment to myself but alas, I keep going; like the Energizer Bunny.

My family's life took a turn a week ago. My mom was taken to the ER by ambulance early Friday morning and little did we know what was to come. She went there because she was having chest pains and we found out her heart rate was low, so they decided to keep her for a couple of days (which has turned into a week).

We pushed for a colonoscopy because she has been having bowel issues and even had trouble going in the hospital, despite the fact they were giving her medicine to make her go. She had the procedure on Monday and they found a fairly large tumor. The doctor was pretty certain it was cancer and wanted to go ahead and have it removed.

I visited her Tuesday morning and was told they wanted to do the surgery that evening...WHAT?! We hadn't even had a chance to digest all of this and now we have to decide on surgery! She had surgery Tuesday evening and about half of her colon was removed along with the tumor.

The pathology report came back today and it confirmed what the doctor and surgeon had already predicted...cancer. Before surgery, my mom said "I'm not having chemo." Now we hope she will change her mind but we do want to respect her wishes.

At this point, we're waiting for her to heal from the surgery and to see what the plan is from the Oncologist.

This week has been SO hectic for me but I keep going. If my mom can keep going through all of this, so can I. It's odd sometimes when I realize I'm still a daughter, even though I'm a mom.

I hope to come back and report good news...

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Finally lost a tooth!!

My son is 8 and it finally happened yesterday morning! He's super excited and I'm excited for him. He's already a cutie pie but now he's even cuter! He is the last of his friends and most classmates to lose a tooth (and he's really been bummed about it since Kindergarten).

He's excited to go back to school on Tuesday to show his teacher. He'll finally get his name on the tooth chart (2nd grade is probably the last year the teacher will keep a chart for tooth losses); yay, he made it just before the end of the school year.

One funny thing though, last night I was talking about the tooth fairy (I usually don't get into that stuff) and he said "the tooth fairy isn't real. The parent just puts money under the pillow and takes the tooth." I said, "ok, guess you won't have any money then," and he said "well maybe the tooth fairy is real." LOL! He's so funny. By the way, he got $5 for losing his first tooth.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Quote of the day

"He who angers you controls you"
--unknown

I saw this quote some time ago on a church sign near my home and it really spoke to me. I came right home and added it to my list of quotes.

I know from firsthand experience how true this is. I think as long as you harbor anger towards someone, they do have some level of control over you and your actions.

I know that I need to work through my anger turned unforgiveness turned bitterness and I am. It just seems as soon as I decided to forgive, the anger kicked into high gear.

Just wanted to share another profound quote with all of you. It might help someone else.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Bloggers Block

I just realized the month has passed me by and I have only posted once..eek! I promised myself I would do better and update at least once a week (okay, so I've failed). I've been busy and honestly haven't had much I wanted to say.

The ex got married a week ago (posted about that in my last post). I worked that day (as I do every Sunday) and really didn't think much of it until...I was calling another AAA club for a member and the representative put me on hold. What was playing on the hold music?!...the song "You are so beautiful," the very song I walked down the aisle on when I married the ex. Weird because I don't think I've heard that song but probably twice since the day of our wedding (May, 1998). I did have a little teary moment and had to get myself to the bathroom after I finished that call.

I also realized he chose to get married just 8 days before the day we got married (whatever). Anyway, the son didn't attend the wedding. He didn't want to go and I wasn't going to force him to. He still chooses not to discuss it. I did stop by the school counselor's office just to ask her to speak with the boy about his feelings.

Anyway, I'm still on a journey to forgive and the fact that the ex has become even more of a deadbeat than he already was is making forgiveness that much harder.

Guess I wasn't blocked after all (LOL); just needed to put fingers to keyboard...

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The pot and the new wife..

So I found out today that my ex is getting married. I was at work and saw his number on my phone (he never calls me), so I answered it because I thought it might have been an emergency with the boy (not sure why I thought that because the school would call ME first, not him) Anywhoo...he said he was getting married on Sunday. It's weird, but I'm actually relieved he's finally getting married, now he can stop asking me for sex leave me alone.

We've both been single for 9 years, so I guess it was time. The boy doesn't want to attend the wedding and I don't plan to make him do so. He's kind of quiet about the whole thing, which concerns me but he did say he's not happy about the marriage. I'll just keep my mouth shut because the boy doesn't spend much time with the ex anyway.

I'm sure you're wondering why I mentioned a pot in the title. Well, it ties in with the ex. When he divorced me and I moved out, I had NOTHING, so he gave me a pot along with a few other things for the kitchen to get me started. I've had the pot all this time. It's little and good for boiling something quick.

I let something scorch in the pot a few months ago and have not been able to get it clean, yet I've held onto it. I've decided to let go of the pot and today's wedding news gives me the extra push I needed to do so. I'm not sure why I haven't let go of the pot. Maybe the same reason I haven't let go of the anger after 9 years...

Still taking baby steps towards forgiveness.

Friday, April 29, 2011

It's field day!!!

I love this day at school but it's also bittersweet because it signals the upcoming end of the school year. Today was field day at my son's school. The kids,parents and teachers love this day because it's a full day of fun for the kids.

They get to play games and at the end of the day they get wet during water games and on bouncy water slides! It's great because even the principal and some of the teachers get in on the fun.

Those kids get wet, downright dirty and tired! Being there watching them totally lifts the spirits (ahh to be a kid again). My son asked me as we were leaving "mom, is school almost over?" Yes it is son, only a few more weeks before summer and I'll have a 3rd grader (sniff, sniff).

Here's to youth, fun and summer(almost)

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Pooping in public (or not)

My son was potty trained just before turning 3 and has had problems with pooping since then. He's never been an every pooper (stopped going daily around 3/4 months old), yet the pedi said that wasn't a problem because "some people don't go daily."

After he was potty trained, his teacher said he never went at daycare and around the age of 4 he started having accidents occasionally. The accidents became more frequent around 5 or so and that's when I started researching and took him to the doc and they said it was Encopresis (which I had already found out myself).

Anyway, he's been on Miralax since then but I don't give it daily as I should. I keep track of his poops and if he goes more than 3 days or so, I start the Miralax.

I'm posting this because of a conversation my son and I just had. I think in the back of my mind I knew his 'withholding' had to do with him not wanting to go in public but he finally confirmed that. I sneaked put some Miralax in his apple juice, this evening and he walked in on me, so he wouldn't drink it. I told him I had done the same thing last night and he drank it just fine. He said he doesn't want to drink it because he "might go to the bathroom at school."

I told him as I have before that it's ok to poop away from home (school, granny's house, dad's house, etc.). Maybe this will be the time that sinks in so we can beat this issue. The good thing is that he hasn't had an accident in about 2 years...YAY!!

Anyone else?

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Quote of the day (or year if needed)

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free, and discover that the prisoner was you.” - Lewis Smedes


This is a quote I read on another blog recently and I hope she doesn't mind me stealing borrowing it. I so needed to stumble upon that blog post at this time in my life. I don't think I've ever been one that was quick to forgive but I'm just now realizing how that has held me back over the last few years.

What I have failed to do though is move on from the anger. Now, eight years later and still single (haven't even considered a relationship since the divorce), I'm still very much angry with the ex and I really have no clue how to move on. The quote above really rings true because unforgiveness only punishes the person that's unforgiving.

I'm 40 and I need to let this go, once and for all and this will be my year. I'm thankful for coming across that blog post and say thanks to the person that wrote it (won't share the blog name without permission). I wish I could go back over 8 yrs ago and start over but I know I can't, so I'll just start fresh today, this very moment.

Baby steps.....

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Happy Easter random thoughs


Hope everyone has a great day and remember the true meaning of the day.

I'm on a 6 day stretch at work and I'm just OVER it already and still have one more day to go. I traded days with someone and was off on Monday and worked Saturday instead, so I've been working since Wednesday and won't get a day off until Tuesday.

I'm planning to start a business in the next few months and every day I go on this job, that I hate I'm more motivated than ever to get my business going. And working on Sundays certainly doesn't make me like the job any more.

So again, here's to a great day for everyone, including my son who will be going to church with Granny and Auntie while I'm at work....

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Missing in action lately

Just wanted to pop in and say that I'm still here and alive :) I've been a bit busy trying to keep up with being a mom, studying and working and unfortunately mom blogging has suffered.

Things are going well here, the little one is doing well in 2nd grade and the school year is winding down for him. I can't believe I will soon have a 3rd grader!...wasn't it just yesterday that I was nervous about him starting kindergarten! :o

School is going well for me also and I recently found out I'll be getting financial aid for the summer term..WOO HOO! I applied for scholarships so hopefully I'll get one.

I posted last time about starting a vegetable garden and that has yet to happen. I really hope I haven't missed my window to plant the things I want. I'm still working on keeping my new plants alive in the front of the house and trying to decide what to plant in my circle near the curb...decisions, decisions...LOL!

I promised myself that I would post at least once a week and haven't been keeping that promise lately, so I'm going to do better...promise.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Random thoughts

I honestly don't have a lot of thoughts to post this week. I took the weekend off to hang out with the little one during the end of his Spring Break. I thought we would go away for a long weekend but that didn't happen, so we've just been doing things close to home. We went to the beach yesterday and took my 1 yr old great neice; that was a bunch of fun!

I really do dread the thought of going back to work on Monday. It's really sad but true. I've been very emotional and depressed lately and hope the funk lifts soon. This weekend off has been nice and I just want to enjoy my last day tomorrow.

I've decided to start a vegetable garden. I do NOT have a green thumb and have never been a gardener...EVER, so this should be interesting. I'm also going to bring some life back to my flower bed in the front and hope to eventually get my yard looking up to par again. I'll try to post pics as I go along.

Have a great Sunday everyone!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Why does my son go crazy when I'm on the phone???

I don't get it so I'm reaching out to other parents for help/answers. I'm not much of a phone person, so I'm not on it it very often. My son has always gotten my undivided attention for the most part.

But I've noticed something that disturbs me: he totally gets into things when I do get on the phone!! I just don't understand. This has been going on for awhile and I've mostly ignored it because it's not a frequent thing, but I don't want to ignore it anymore (he's 8 for goodness sakes!!).

Last night I was on the phone and the conversation did go a bit long (number 1 reason I don't talk on the phone); maybe an hour and a half. I left the family room because my son was watching tv there and usually he tells me I talk too loud.

Anyway, when I was picking up later that evening I noticed a couple of things. He had gotten dental floss and cut it into little pieces on the floor and he also got this tape I use for hemming pants and cut that into little strips. Of course, I asked him why he did it and his answer was, "I don't know."

Is this an attention getter or what?

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Making friends at 40

I'm not sure what I've been going through lately (PMS, depression, mid life crisis), who knows. What I do know that the one thing that I've gotten joy from for 8 yrs, seems to bring me more aggravation than anything. That thing is being a mom (I feel bad just typing it out).

When I first got divorced, I made being a mommy my life. I've never had many friends (despite living in the same city my entire life) and that has always been fine for me. Lately it doesn't seem to be ok anymore. I need (want) something for myself.

I went back to school to get my degree a couple of years ago (after a layoff) and I feel some gratification from that but there's still something missing and I need to figure it out soon. To clarify, I love my son and spending time with him. I also love my own company, so I don't need to be surrounded by people constantly.

I just want some time to myself every now and then (which I don't get-that's another post) and I would like to go out to events that aren't kid/family oriented. I feel like a horrible mom lately because most of my frustration gets dumped on my son, which isn't fair to him and leaves me (and him) feeling horrible!

The issue is for me is everyone I know, including my sisters and my son's friends' moms, are all married. I have nothing against married people but I'd like to meet some people that are single with kids. The million dollar question is, how do I meet people and make friends at this stage in my life?

I feel this would give me an outlet and make me a better mom.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Meet me in the thought room

So, I missed my post last Sunday and I do apologize.

I have a lot of thoughts floating around in my head but only a few that I want to write about. This week I want to touch on a few things that no one tells you about parenting.

3 things no one tells you about parenting:

1. You will not always enjoy it

2. You may not always like your child/ren

3. It's not all sunshine and snowflakes all the time

those are my thoughts for the week. If anyone else has anything to add to the above list; feel free to do so.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

When thoughts are random..

Happy Sunday all!

Here are my thoughts for the day:

Why are people so judgmental?

When did children become so helpless and need parents to do EVERYTHING for them?

Who knew it was so much fun being around kids regularly? I have a blast with mine :)

This pollen is really giving us a fit, especially little one....ugh!

Hope everyone has a great week.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Random, random and more random

I'm back for another episode of random mom thoughts at the spot. I'm feeling very much on edge for some reason today, so my thoughts might be ALL over the place, sorry.

First, I'd like to meet the person that told women we could have it all. You can't!! Something will go lacking if you're trying to do too much. Right now I feel like I"m lacking. I get the short end of the stick and something needs to change.

Second, I'm feeling resentful and that's all I'll say on that one. (see above)

I now truly understand why couples sacrifice so one parent can stay home with the kids. (of course, as an unmarried person, that's not really an option for me, is it?!)

I really want to finish school because I've worked SO hard the last couple of years and overcome a few obstacles to be where I am, but right this very moment, I WANT TO QUIT!

Sorry to be a Debbie Downer today but these are my thoughts.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The cavity monster...ugh!

It seems the cavity monster has invaded our home...BOO! I have been so proud of the fact that the little one has not had a cavity, well so much for that. He went to the dentist yesterday and they found 2...EEK, and these have developed since his last appointment 6 months ago. The weird thing is I went to the dentist last week and my dentist found 2 cavities and both of us have the cavities on the right side. I'm upset with myself because I feel that I haven't been a good example and didn't enforce the dental hygiene as much as I used to (bad mom).

My dilemma is do I have the little one's cavities filled or not?! Even though he's 8 he still has ALL of his baby teeth. I don't like the idea of paying to fill baby teeth that are going to fall out. What to do, what to do...

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Sunday randomness

I occasionally post my random thoughts but not on a regular basis. Well I've decided to make Sunday's my regular "random thought" day! So stop by each week to read the thought(s) for the week and post your own if you'd like.

Here goes:

Youth soccer games should NOT begin before 10 AM (the kids are not awake, nor the parents)

Why does it rain whenever I plan to take the little one somewhere outdoors and fun?!

How do single people with kids date or get into relationships?! (I just don't see how that works honestly)

Reading really IS fundamental


See ya next week for more thoughts

Sunday, January 30, 2011

8 years?!....where has the time gone.






So yesterday was the little one's birthday...HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you son!!! It's just so hard to believe I've been the mother of this awesome little boy for 8 whole years! Time is moving along way to fast for me and I feel like I'm trying to keep up and not let it pass me by.

We had a nice simple day, no party this year. He said several times "this was the best birthday ever!" That just proves that kids often love simplicity and don't need all of the grand gestures we throw at them.

We continued today with more family time, which was also great.

Have I learned anything as I look back over the last 7 years? Yes! I've learned patience (most of the time), I've learned that children watch more than they listen, I've learned that my heart holds more love than I ever thought imaginable, and I've learned to have fun all over again.

Thanks son for being the funniest, most handsome, smartest kid ever....Love you!!

Monday, January 17, 2011

One week down.....

Well, I did it. I finished my first week of work and the little did his first week of before/after care. He actually loved it; and to think I was worried. They play games and a couple of kids from his class are there in the morning, so he likes it and that makes me happy!

My job is customer service in a call center and I'm pretty sure I won't be there long. I HATE call centers and shift work and have done my best to avoid even applying for those jobs since I've been off. I accepted this one because I was told I'd more than likely be able to work days and of course that's not the case. I was assigned a shift that ends at midnight!!! Ummm yea, don't think that's going to work.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Randomness from a mom

The year is going great so far! The little one's first week back to school went off without a hitch :)

Tomorrow is a new day for me; I'm back to work full time after a long time off. It's also the start of classes for the Spring term, so my plate will be full. Let's see if I can handle it all...

The little one will also experience something new tomorrow: his first time being in before/after care since starting school over 2 years ago. I'm a bit apprehensive about this but I'm trying to be strong so I can make him feel good about it. I'm sure he'll be fine but I still don't like it...hmpf!

I'm having of of those "tired of having to do everything" moments. I'm not sure if all unmarried parents experience this but I do every now and then. It would just be nice to have someone to say "let me take care of this for you."

Anywhoo...off to get ready for tomorrow.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year!!!!



Here's to an awesome 2011! Hoping this year will bring exciting opportunities to myself and others. I don't make resolutions but if I did this is what they would be: Get healthier, kick my entrepreneur spirit into HIGH gear, become more active, try something new (I think I'm already doing that).