Saturday, April 28, 2012

3 more things

Yea, yea, yea, I know today isn't Thursday...sorry.  Here are my 3 things that I'm thankful for today.

1. I will be done with these 2 classes next week and I'm taking the summer off!!!!!!

2.  Chocolate/chocolate chip cupcakes....need I say more

3.  Saturday...I get to hang out with the boy!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Random thoughts revisited

I just realized I haven't been posting random thoughts lately.  I'm going to try again to make this a weekly post, like the 3 things postings.  Presenting...my thoughts for the day.

Why does the non-custodial parent always seem to have a suggestion for how you, the custodial parent, can do a better job?  How about you (non-custodial parent) do what I do everyday and then come talk to me?!

I still loathe this job I'm on and it is still sucking the life from me.  I have been applying to jobs since November and have not even had ONE interview! I'm really starting to think something might be wrong with me.  I keep reading that the unemployment rate is dropping in FL but...

So the boy took state testing last week and now we just wait to see if he passed and will be a 4th grader next year.  Did I mention, I hate this test and this is the reason I originally planned to put him in private school?  After the tough, trying school year he has had, I wonder if I made the wrong choice by sending him to public school.  I've really been beating myself up and second guessing my decision.  It doesn't help that I saw the mom of his former classmate last week and she said her son just made the honor roll at his new private school!  This is a little boy that could barely read (I know because I used to grade his tests last year in 2nd grade).  He was also in my son's class this year and she took him out of school back in January.  Anywho...guess it's too late at this point to cry over spilled milk. 

On the school note...I told my son that I would let him have a hookie day once testing was over so he's home with me today.  I just wish we could think of something fun to do that didn't take a lot of money. 

Monday, April 16, 2012

The "family" thing..

I may have posted about this before and if I did just get over it please forgive me. 

I understood that I would be parenting alone when I was only a few months pregnant because that is when the ex divorced me.  I think for the most part I was ok with it even though I do not like being labeled a single mother.  Back then, I was different though.  I didn't think I would be alone for ever because for some crazy reason, I really did want to get married again and have at least one more child. 

Anyway, fast forward 9 years to now.  On Friday, son and I went to his school for family night as we have done every year since he started kindergarten.  I always enjoy these nights and appreciate the PTA members for doing this for the school.  This is the second time though, that I've had these pangs of insecurity something in my gut. I just felt totally out of place among all of the husband/wife/multiple children families. On the way home, that feeling turned to sadness for my son. 

The sadness is because he will never get to experience what I had growing up; mom, dad and 4 sisters.  That was my plan for any kids I had; mom, dad, at least one sibling.  Was that too much to expect?! My sadness then quickly turned to anger at the ex when I realized things should have been different. 

Yesterday didn't help the situation.  I work Sundays and when we got home my son just went to the family room and started crying.  When I asked what was wrong, he said "he doesn't get to be a regular kid."  He said when he gets home during the week he has to do homework, eat and get ready for bed (I work until 6, unfortunately).  He said he wishes he could come home and have time to play.  Of course, I started thinking that if I had a husband, he could do that and he could stay home on Sunday while I worked instead of having to go to someone else's house all day. 

I guess this is just my thoughts vent for the day. 

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Today's thankfulness

Sometimes it is really difficult for me to see the positive in my world (the reason I started this series).  The last couple of weeks, I've been making more of an effort on a daily basis to be more positive. 

Three things for today:

1. Just had more financial aid added to my account! How weird is that considering we are about 13 weeks into the semester.  Maybe this is confirmation that I should take summer classes.  It didn't look like I would get enough aid for summer but now I can use this money toward summer classes. 

2. I think my son has a new play date buddy (and he lives right down the street)! He has known this boy since 1st grade because they go to school together and they are in class together again this year; for some reason my son never wanted to play with him outside of school, even though the boy used to ask for playdates.  Last week we found out they just bought a house not far from us because son left homework at school at we had to get it from this boy  and we went over for a little while.  They had a ball! Now they both keep asking to play with each other.

3. Our home

Don't be shy readers...let me know what you're thankful for today. 

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

So...we're back (and have been for over a week)

Vacation was LOVELY and very much needed by both of us! We flew to NC on Monday and drove from there to Alexandria, VA on Tuesday morning. I am in love with that city!!! It was so nice and walkable and did I say nice...LOL! We only spent one day walking until our feet fell off touring DC and that was a lot of fun. My son really enjoyed the Smithsonian Air and Space museum and so did I (in spite of the $8 batteries I purchased at the gift shop). We have to go back when we can spend more time and the boy won't whine and complain the whole time about walking see some of what we missed.

On another note, I realized just how much this job is affecting my moods, life and health while we were on vacation. I did not have one moment of wanting to cry or scream and no episodes of a racing heart and headaches either. My son didn't have one episode of upset stomach or morning vomiting either. I guess we both really needed a break from our lives more than I realized. I can't wait until the next getaway but I guess I need to learn to deal with my real life huh?!

Oh my gosh, I almost forgot...on Friday when we got back to NC, we spent one night at Great Wolf Lodge  and it was a blast! We almost had to leave the boy behind could not get the little one to leave on Saturday. If you have young kids and are anywhere near one of these, it is well worth it.