Randomness at The Mom Spot

I've been feeling "icky" the last couple of days.  I had an interview and 2 appointments today and cancelled all of them because I just didn't feel up to it.  I could definitely morph into a hermit if I didn't have my son.  I know part of how I've been feeling is depression and my doc put me back on anti-depressants and couple of weeks ago but I wonder if something else is going on with me....don't know

Today, I'm having a "hate my life" sort of moment.  I know that's horrible to say but I keep thinking of all of the what ifs such as what if we had plenty of money, if I didn't have to go to this crappy ass job 5 days a week, if I had someone to partner with in the day to day stuff (parenting, repairs, cleaning, decisions, whatever). I have no desire to be married again but ocassionally I think about how much simpler some things would be with two heads, incomes, etc.

Sorry for the downer post; I'm sure the next one will be more upbeat and positive.  Off to cook some lasagna rolls for dinner.